


seasons change

by kaisdaddy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, toxic relationships (but it's not krisho)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 06:42:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14183145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaisdaddy/pseuds/kaisdaddy
Summary: Junmyeon is delicate, like a flower in spring, and there are people who like to take advantage of that.





	seasons change

**Author's Note:**

> idk if this is too high or too low rating but!! i wanted to throw this out there since i haven't updated anything in a while.

Seasons come and go, and so did people.

 

They enter your life like spring, brightening up your soul after being in hibernation during the cold harsh winter. Melt away the cold layers to get closer to you day by day, bit by bit. Until you’re naked before them and open for any change they might have in store for you.

 

Sometimes it’s good, most of the times it’s bad. Sometimes the snow returns in spring to cover the flowers sprouting through the green grass, freezing their fragile petals momentarily. Just like when you got hurt from letting someone new in you’d withdraw in fear of getting hurt further, to get your petals picked and be left to wilt under the dark freezing snow. The cold made his nose runny and at one point he wasn’t sure if there was snow sticking to his cheeks that melted or if it was tears traveling down his rosy cheeks as the harsh cold wind was cooling down the stray tears. 

 

All Junmyeon knew was that every spring was unpredictable and so was people. Cold and harsh like the winter gust. Catching you off guard by a snowstorm in the middle of the night. The gentle spring sun unveiling the platlife once covered, coaxing you out of your comfort zone once again. 

 

Chanyeol was much like the unforgiving winter refusing to let go. A freezing wind returning to interfere with the spring doing its work. He was kind at first, a gentleman who paid for their dates, held the door open, told him how pretty he looked and kissed his cheeks.

 

Junmyeon had thought he was in love with the taller man who took him out to expensive dinners in a beautiful suit. Taking him to social gatherings to show him off to his friends who complimented him for his looks and achievements. Always had the weekends for them planned for them in advance. 

 

His hands was the first deception. Warm and strong. Maybe too strong. But Junmyeon didn’t know then, but he knew now. That the warm hands he loved to feel on his waist, playing with his hair when watching a movie, that felt like home, would at one point feel as harsh as snow against your bare skin.

 

They weren’t cold like the winter, but his eyes were. 

 

Looking back the signs were obvious and it made him feel stupid for not distancing himself in beforehand. But how could a flower retrieve back into the earth? And how could he think that Chanyeol would hurt him. The man that asked to pet strangers’ dogs and laughed too loudly at dumb jokes.

 

A false security perhaps. Maybe that’s why he believed it was okay, that he owed him. After all Chanyeol had spent so much on him, done so much for him and Junmyeon loved him. So when Chanyeol had kissed him a minute to long, touch a little too low he didn’t do anything to stop it because this was what he should be doing for Chanyeol.

 

Like a teen plucking petals from a spring flower to guess if a girl liked him or not Chanyeol picked his petals one by one, deflowering him. Afterwards he was left in the cold, reminding him much of how snow would gently trickle down from the heavens to silently leave everything covered in white. Just like Chanyeol had done with Junmyeon.

 

Junmyeon wanted winter to pass and fully be engulfed in the sweet scent of spring flowers yet the winter refused to let that happen. For months Chanyeol manipulated him into staying, “No one will take care of you, you’ll be cold without me.” and Junmyeon feared the cold. He didn’t want it to be cooler than it already was.

 

It wasn’t until Chanyeol made flowers bloom on his cheek that Junmyeon packed his things in the dead of night and left without a word, only leaving a note behind as he headed to his best friend’s house.

 

_ With spring came flowers. _

 

Junmyeon thought as he stared at the uneven texture in the ceiling of his friend’s guestroom, lying underneath a warm duvet as hot tears silently slid down his cheeks. At least it was here now, and hopefully the next winter would be kinder.

  
  
  
  
  


During the spring Junmyeon spent his time tending to the herbs he’d planted in pots on the small balcony of his apartment he rented. Caring for them and having his morning tea in the one white wooden folding chair set out, enjoying the spring breeze. He didn’t have any flowers imprinted on his skin any longer, instead they were placed in a pot in his bedroom. 

 

He liked them better like that, to not be a part of him. But he regretted letting winter pluck his flower too soon, unwillingly letting it go. He could never have it back, so instead he surrounded himself with them.

 

Spring was calm but it passed too quickly and soon the heat of summer came crashing into his life. And so did Jongdae. 

 

Junmyeon wasn’t ready for someone new, even after a year of healing in his own artificial spring he was sceptical of letting Jongdae into his life, however he loved the warmth that summer brought and it eased him up to the idea. He never fully opened up to Jongdae no matter how kind he was because what if winter returned too quickly? 

 

It was hard not to relax in summer, expose yourself to the heat and bask in the warmth. But you could easily get burned without anything protecting you. And Junmyeon stood by that. Protect yourself no matter how pleasant the summer was. And he was right. Just like the glaring sun Jongdae left burns. 

 

However, the burns healed within a few days or weeks, while the flower Chanyeol had picked would never grow back. So he told himself it couldn't be that bad. 

 

Junmyeon counted up to five times he got burned that summer. 

 

The first time was when Jongdae called his face ugly when he smiled.  _ “You're showing too much teeth when you smile, it's ugly. Almost scary. _ ” He said with a scoff and Junmyeon since then began thinking about covering up his smile with his hand, to spare everyone from seeing his ugly smile. He didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. 

 

The second time was a month into them dating and he had let Jongdae see him naked in bed. The other had looked him over and a flash of distaste spread over his features as he ran a hand over his stomach. Almost like he was disgusted with Junmyeon. The latter felt his heart sink and slowly curling into himself and when asking what was wrong he simply said, “ _ You're just fat. Maybe you should diet _ .” And diet he did. Maybe he should think more about his body. 

 

The third time came only a few days after he started dieting. Counting calories and going to the gym to do cardio training. They met up with Kyungsoo for lunch and he thought it went well, but afterwards in Jongdae’s car the latter groaned. “ _ What a prick. How can you even be friends with him? If we're going to do this you can't hang out with him anymore _ .” Junmyeon didn't know what to do. He wanted to be with Jongdae, but Kyungsoo was his best friend and he'd done so much for him. He couldn't just cut a friend of like that. But maybe he had to. 

 

The fourth time was when doing a joke and Jongdae rolled his eyes and sighed, annoyed with Junmyeon, before saying. _ “Can you stop making jokes? They’re terrible and I rather not listen to them all day.” _ So Junmyeon stopped telling jokes.

 

The fifth time he came home to Jongdae’s apartment to surprise him on a Friday night after his classes were done. He should have known something was up when he saw the sweater thrown on the floor and the paintings outside his bedroom crooked. But he was just happy to see Jongdae again. So happy he didn’t pay attention to the sounds coming from inside the room. Seeing Jongdae on top of another man was like being out in a sudden rainstorm. But of course he turned to another source for these things. Junmyeon was ugly, fat and dumb. Jongdae made sure he knew that.

 

And just like that, the leaves had changed colour, and so had Junmyeon’s hair.

 

From brown to bleach blonde, he thought it might give him some confidence after two unlucky relationships. He still covered his mouth when he smiled and still counted his calories. But he was studying harder on every subject he could and he had apologized to Kyungsoo after pushing him away and his friend happily took him back.

 

It was the perfect time to go thrifting for knitted sweaters and that’s just what he did. With his hair down over his brows and his coat wrapped tightly around his thinning frame he grabbed his umbrella and stepped out into the october rain. He liked to observe the people in these parts of town, the way they dressed made him feel happy, made him feel at home. Junmyeon stood under his umbrella outside of a 7 eleven for a few minutes drinking some tea, simply watching people pass. 

 

Sometimes he thought he saw Jongdae or Chanyeol in the crowd and his body went cold, but he was always wrong. And how big of a chance was it he’d stumble upon his exes in a city with several millions of people in it? So he tried to keep himself calm as he walked the streets of Seoul.

 

Autumn was Junmyeon’s least favourite season, after winter of course. He’d always hated the cold and no thrifted sweater or bottle of hot tea outside of a 7 eleven could keep him warm during these periods of time. So he stayed in, hiding away from the cold that reminded him of Chanyeol, the way he touched him, the way his eyes made him feel so worthless. He wasn’t ready for more warmth yet. Junmyeon wasn’t ready. But Kyungsoo tried to drag him out as much as possible, mostly to no avail. The only time he got him out of the house was when he threw a Halloween party and basically had to force Junmyeon to stay over.

 

It wasn’t until April rolled in and flowers began to sprout Junmyeon emerged from his little den again to join the rest of the world. 

 

And then Yifan came. 

 

On a rainy spring day in May he came up to him in a café with two cups of tea and sheepishly smiled at him. “You ran out of tea some time ago and you look like you're shaking from the cod.” He said and handed him the cup. Junmyeon could only stare at the steaming cup and then almost scrambled to gather his papers into a neat pile so the kind stranger could sit. 

 

“Oh you really don't have to…” he trailed of, not really knowing what to say or even respond in this sort of situation. Lifting his gaze from the cup to the man in front of him with styled brown hair and thick brows. He was handsome. 

 

“I do, I know how it is being in university and you could use some more relaxing tea. I hope you like rose. And...that you don't mind me sitting here. I’ll leave if you want.” The man offered and pointed at a few free seats behind him.

 

“No it’s okay, I could use some distraction from my school work, I’ve been doing this paper for the whole day I think I’m actually braindead.” Junmyeon’s eyes widened a little as a smooth chuckle filled his ear drums and he looked up at the stranger that had just laughed at what he said. Was it stupid? Or was he annoyed now because it was a stupid joke. He got nervous.

 

But it all melted away when he saw his gums showing when smiling and something in Junmyeon just….clicked, as he stared at the man in front of him.

 

“I’m Yifan by the way, nice meeting you.”

 

Spring for Junmyeon was the smell of wet pavement, the scent of flowers in the cool morning air and rose tea. He wondered if Yifan had asked about his last order that day or if rose tea was spring for him as well. It made him think, if Yifan wanted anything out of this gesture or if he was just being plain nice to a tired student.

 

Whatever his reason was he went home that day with a smile on is lips and a new number in his phone.

 

Spring was cold sometimes but Junmyeon knew it'd be warm soon enough and in the meantime he drank his rose tea and sat in the sun, taking in every little ounce of sunlight before the clouds rolled in. 

 

Yifan warmed him up as well. The sweet gestures and conversations made him feel warm inside and out. It was something with his seemingly cold exterior, yet fun and silly interior. So different from Chanyeol in his ways. Yifan didn't show him off or use him as eye candy. 

 

Yifan texted him at 3am telling him he wanted to take him on a walk to look at stars. Yifan hold him in a protective way. Yifan listened to him when he talked. Yifan would cook him dinner and treat him with some wine and kisses on the couch. Yifan gave him flowers to remind him of how he'd stay once spring was over. 

 

Even if he was tall and clumsy like Chanyeol, Yifan never tried to force him into something he wasn't ready for. And Junmyeon loved the gentile nature of the elder. It made him feel at home when sitting wrapped up in his arms.  

 

What was surprising was however how different he was from Jongdae. Since their first meeting Yifan called him beautiful and kept telling him over and over. How cute he was when he smiled, how his cheeks glowed up and turned rosy as he laughed. Yifan would more often than not grab his wrist gently and peel his hands away and whispered to him, “Don’t hide yourself Myeon, I want to see your beautiful smile.” And slowly he began opening up like a flower exposed to the sun. And everytime the elder saw him smile without hiding himself he’d only smile back even bigger.

 

Yifan had noticed quickly how he skipped meals and checked thoroughly what he ate which worried him and he began cooking for him and making sure he ate full meals. He tried to talk him into how wonderful his plush thighs were, how cute his tummy was when it folded, just how perfect his ass was when you could see the skin giving in to the rubber band of his underwear. Junmyeon felt odd about eating like he did before, but it was nice going to early breakfast trips to mcdonalds sometimes. Yifan would order them food and they’d sit in the morning sun all alone listening to the radio and talking about anything and everything.

 

The most calming thing was introducing him to Kyungsoo who had been weary about him dating so soon after breaking it off with Jongdae, but they got along well, poking fun at Junmyeon’s inability to clean after himself and the latter sat there flustered as he whined about them teaming up to go against him.  _ “I get why he’s your best friend, he’s amazing. I hope we can take more lunches with him in the future. I could need some more Korean friends.” _ Junmyeon beamed at that and promised to schedule another lunch in the future.

 

He was falling in love, because Yifan wasn’t like the cold unforgiving winter or burning hot summer. Yifan was the gentle loving spring that he needed to thrive in to survive and feel safe and warm. Yifan wasn’t the sun nor the ground, he was the soothing water full of life and secrets he couldn’t wait to share. 

 

Yifan was what Junmyeon needed to heal.

 

And he accepted that. 


End file.
